








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1024 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2177 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2709 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2408 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2382 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,212,800 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | pake | 70% | 23 |
| #8 | PuuroA | 69% | 86 |
| #9 | MrSuperrs | 68% | 38 |
| #10 | Tomppa | 67% | 27 |
| #11 | 1totemic | 67% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YDIN Ebelski | 68 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Ад Эльн | 42 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | fireraCeツ | 25 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | PuuroA | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Reiska | 10 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ад Эльн | 898 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | YDIN Ebelski | 338 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | 1totemic | 218 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #4 | PuuroA | 191 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | MrSuperrs | 173 | 0.21 | 4 min |





