








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 80 | 21% |
| Smokes | 95 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 119 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,800 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabian bleibt geil | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | =doc= | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Mickie_KrauseLP | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Mr. wasgehtsiedassan | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | gzey | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | =doc= | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Mickie_KrauseLP | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Mr. wasgehtsiedassan | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | gzey | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | Sandbank | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickie_KrauseLP | 3 | 0.0341 |
| #2 | =doc= | 2 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Mr. wasgehtsiedassan | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | gzey | 1 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | Fabian bleibt geil | 1 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =doc= | 24 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #2 | Mr. wasgehtsiedassan | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | gzey | 7 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mickie_KrauseLP | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fabian bleibt geil | 5 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabian bleibt geil | +4.13 | 83 | 37 |
| #2 | Mr. wasgehtsiedassan | +3.09 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | gzey | +2.72 | 23 | 37 |
| #4 | Mickie_KrauseLP | +1.93 | 36 | 45 |
| #5 | OBG | Yallamiah | +1.24 | 52 | 38 |





