










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 396 | 20% |
| Smokes | 290 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,186 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | conito | 48% | 40 |
| #2 | Keanu of Rivia | 34% | 44 |
| #3 | Kuka Trap (Kuka killer) | 31% | 78 |
| #4 | CAKOTASS | 29% | 51 |
| #5 | Jer!! | 21% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuka Trap (Kuka killer) | 33 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | Jer!! | 19 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | Keanu of Rivia | 15 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | CAKOTASS | 8 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | conito | 6 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuka Trap (Kuka killer) | 162 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Keanu of Rivia | 146 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | CAKOTASS | 101 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jer!! | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rami | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |





