










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2632 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3493 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2085 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3215 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,897 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuka Trap (Kuka killer) | 108 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | conito | 37 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | CAKOTASS | 32 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Jer!! | 25 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | El Rayo | 16 | 0.0182 |





