








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1565 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1056 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1279 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $217,823 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bacon mac and cheese | 55% | 83 |
| #2 | blood* | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | mR1St1ck | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | LORD GABEN | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Maroqino | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | blood* | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | mR1St1ck | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | LORD GABEN | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Maroqino | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | ϟ | K u m a_ | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blood* | 6 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | bacon mac and cheese | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | mR1St1ck | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bacon mac and cheese | 439 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | mR1St1ck | 301 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #3 | blood* | 283 | 0.44 | 8 min |
| #4 | LORD GABEN | 130 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Maroqino | 64 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | razx | +2.84 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | LORD GABEN | +1.38 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | blood* | +0.87 | 62 | 73 |
| #4 | mR1St1ck | -0.46 | 60 | 69 |
| #5 | bacon mac and cheese | -1.04 | 62 | 60 |





