








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 897 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1781 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2513 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1485 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,443 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | LongGonePedro | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | kaarekk | 48% | 162 |
| #4 | BongZaii | 45% | 112 |
| #5 | MeeehiMaSheep | 42% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BongZaii | 45% | 112 |
| #5 | MeeehiMaSheep | 42% | 109 |
| #6 | Mozzie | 42% | 107 |
| #7 | GungFuBananA | 42% | 166 |
| #8 | mOO-iM-AcOW | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaarekk | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | BongZaii | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | MeeehiMaSheep | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | GungFuBananA | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | LongGonePedro | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeeehiMaSheep | 384 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | GungFuBananA | 215 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mozzie | 201 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | mOO-iM-AcOW | 88 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | 82 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | +3.90 | 57 | 75 |
| #2 | MeeehiMaSheep | +2.98 | 58 | 74 |
| #3 | mOO-iM-AcOW | +1.56 | 56 | 73 |
| #4 | Mozzie | +1.23 | 57 | 69 |
| #5 | GungFuBananA | -0.02 | 31 | 69 |





