








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3252 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4493 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5491 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2797 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,524 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeeehiMaSheep | 45% | 187 |
| #2 | LongGonePedro | 43% | 102 |
| #3 | kaarekk | 42% | 285 |
| #4 | bornefeldt | 42% | 166 |
| #5 | BongZaii | 40% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bornefeldt | 42% | 166 |
| #5 | BongZaii | 40% | 232 |
| #6 | Mozzie | 38% | 151 |
| #7 | mOO-iM-AcOW | 36% | 59 |
| #8 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaarekk | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | MeeehiMaSheep | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | BongZaii | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mozzie | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | bornefeldt | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeeehiMaSheep | 677 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Mozzie | 291 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | mOO-iM-AcOW | 203 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | kaarekk | 166 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | BongZaii | 130 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | +2.73 | 58 | 73 |
| #2 | MeeehiMaSheep | +2.65 | 54 | 72 |
| #3 | mOO-iM-AcOW | +2.15 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | Mozzie | +0.72 | 57 | 68 |
| #5 | GungFuBananA | -0.05 | 31 | 67 |





