










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1345 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2158 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1954 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1870 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,719,035 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LongGonePedro | 46% | 112 |
| #2 | bornefeldt | 45% | 112 |
| #3 | Tokesfar | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | kaarekk | 44% | 234 |
| #5 | mOO-iM-AcOW | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mozzie | 41% | 110 |
| #7 | GungFuBananA | 40% | 232 |
| #8 | SamS - Bællehelle :) | 39% | 31 |
| #9 | MeeehiMaSheep | 38% | 100 |
| #10 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaarekk | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | GungFuBananA | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | LongGonePedro | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Mozzie | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | MeeehiMaSheep | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeeehiMaSheep | 371 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | GungFuBananA | 292 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Mozzie | 210 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | kaarekk | 112 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | 78 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeeehiMaSheep | +2.45 | 54 | 74 |
| #2 | mOO-iM-AcOW | +2.09 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | RubberDuck the Clutcher | +2.04 | 62 | 76 |
| #4 | Mozzie | +0.71 | 58 | 68 |
| #5 | GungFuBananA | +0.27 | 31 | 66 |





