








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2627 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2370 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 978 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1761 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,246 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | <bor1ng> | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | snikers:/ | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Kush | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | Crankyy | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | Spreiyzs | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kush | 12 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | snikers:/ | 9 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | Leo. | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Spreiyzs | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | <bor1ng> | 3 | 0.0051 |





