








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 931 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 584 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13126 | 33% |
| Smokes | 12039 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6855 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7903 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,038 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1775 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ssus | 52% | 218 |
| #2 | aatu | 49% | 411 |
| #3 | HHMmHMhmHMhmhm | 47% | 401 |
| #4 | alluGOD | 47% | 365 |
| #5 | jjak10 | 47% | 635 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | aatu | 49% | 411 |
| #3 | HHMmHMhmHMhmhm | 47% | 401 |
| #4 | alluGOD | 47% | 365 |
| #5 | jjak10 | 47% | 635 |
| #6 | First Class Singularity | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjak10 | 60 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | h3ssus | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | aatu | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | alluGOD | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | HHMmHMhmHMhmhm | 8 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjak10 | 2107 | 0.17 | 53 min |
| #2 | alluGOD | 1131 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #3 | aatu | 965 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #4 | h3ssus | 728 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #5 | HHMmHMhmHMhmhm | 218 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ssus | +3.36 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | alluGOD | +2.92 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | aatu | +2.00 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | jjak10 | -1.19 | 49 | 67 |
| #5 | HHMmHMhmHMhmhm | -1.56 | 24 | 36 |





