








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3678 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3978 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4192 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4494 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,793 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 722 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1>1 | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | aatu | 56% | 131 |
| #3 | alluGOD | 56% | 115 |
| #4 | HHMmHMhmHMhmhm | 55% | 122 |
| #5 | jjak10 | 53% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronkelo | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | jjak10 | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | aatu | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | alluGOD | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | First Class Singularity | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronkelo | 1056 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #2 | jjak10 | 693 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | aatu | 340 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | alluGOD | 281 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | First Class Singularity | 244 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ssus | +3.06 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | alluGOD | +2.70 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | aatu | +1.41 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | &&&&& | -0.14 | 56 | 33 |
| #5 | i thlammed my penith | -0.91 | 82 | 54 |





