








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
48 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 92 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 27 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 41 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,500 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no dog? | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Izolda | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Gæmer | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | W1z | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | ganya | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gæmer | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | W1z | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | ganya | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | cccuuu | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | BOT Miku | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Izolda | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gæmer | 23 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | Izolda | 10 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #3 | BOT Miku | 5 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | W1z | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | no dog? | 4 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Izolda | +10.61 | 55 | 47 |
| #2 | ganya | +5.77 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | Gæmer | +3.10 | 41 | 55 |
| #4 | BOT Miku | +1.13 | 54 | 38 |
| #5 | no dog? | +0.45 | 33 | 42 |





