








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 788 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6088 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3212 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4365 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1740 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,510,315 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blade | 61% | 82 |
| #2 | gabe | 56% | 66 |
| #3 | syntxs2k | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | SiCaR | 50% | 60 |
| #5 | J0e_mama | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JC6 | 44% | 32 |
| #7 | ГОСПОДИН КОЛьЦОВ | 44% | 172 |
| #8 | diinch | 42% | 60 |
| #9 | slepačí džokej | 39% | 76 |
| #10 | Sliperry | 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabe | 15 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | J0e_mama | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | SiCaR | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | JC6 | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | ГОСПОДИН КОЛьЦОВ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ГОСПОДИН КОЛьЦОВ | 417 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | slepačí džokej | 181 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | blade | 139 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | SiCaR | 125 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | J0e_mama | 120 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimoniNb | +6.21 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | syntxs2k | +0.27 | 61 | 52 |
| #3 | ГОСПОДИН КОЛьЦОВ | -0.35 | 33 | 61 |
| #4 | SiCaR | -1.54 | 40 | 50 |
| #5 | gabe | -1.76 | 52 | 41 |





