








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 79 | 22% |
| Smokes | 85 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 131 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 59 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,600 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adv1se | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | byAimedッ | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Stony das Nagatier | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | HNTRX #13 | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | TMm.Stycks 🐦💩💢 | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | HNTRX #13 | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | TMm.Stycks 🐦💩💢 | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Stryd | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | Kl3ppt0 | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | TMm.Stycks 🐦💩💢 | 1 | 1.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | 99 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kl3ppt0 | 22 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | Adv1se | 21 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | HNTRX #13 | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stryd | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stony das Nagatier | +7.88 | 97 | 69 |
| #2 | ☜︎aXCepT☞ | +1.34 | 80 | 79 |
| #3 | Stryd | +1.05 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | TMm.Stycks 🐦💩💢 | +0.58 | 56 | 54 |
| #5 | Adv1se | +0.36 | 77 | 63 |





