








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 273 | 9% |
| Smokes | 623 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1155 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1080 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,557,243 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙚 | 59% | 80 |
| #2 | ougii | 49% | 81 |
| #3 | Jonttu34 | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Fanttu | 46% | 241 |
| #5 | Urbankills | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙚 | 59% | 80 |
| #2 | ougii | 49% | 81 |
| #3 | Jonttu34 | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Fanttu | 46% | 241 |
| #5 | Urbankills | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanttu | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ougii | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙚 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Urbankills | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ougii | 437 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙚 | 299 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fanttu | 291 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Urbankills | 65 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jonttu34 | 58 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙚 | +3.21 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | Urbankills | +2.57 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | ˚◞♡ Odetteel ꔫ*ೃ | +0.07 | 75 | 24 |
| #4 | Jonttu34 | -0.22 | 27 | 59 |
| #5 | ougii | -0.67 | 43 | 78 |





