








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 223 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3293 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4177 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2560 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3110 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,021,655 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T♡ny | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Nasse3 | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Pirjo ja neljä koiraa | 63% | 57 |
| #4 | stg | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | H-Ä-K-K-I-N-E-N | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRZR | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Winnie | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Nasse3 | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Pirjo ja neljä koiraa | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | stg | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donked? | 336 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | d-_^ | 226 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pirjo ja neljä koiraa | 188 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | H-Ä-K-K-I-N-E-N | 182 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #5 | BRZR | 99 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d-_^ | +3.56 | 95 | 67 |
| #2 | Pirjo ja neljä koiraa | +1.42 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | oNd^ | +1.33 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Urbankills | +1.25 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | stg | +1.01 | 82 | 55 |





