








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 334 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1701 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1976 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1970 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2303 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,703 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 646 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YellowGoldish46 | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | balabeep | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | taiskitty | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | NahSw1tch | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YellowGoldish46 | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | balabeep | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | taiskitty | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | NahSw1tch | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NahSw1tch | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | balabeep | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | taiskitty | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | YellowGoldish46 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NahSw1tch | 389 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | balabeep | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | taiskitty | 60 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | YellowGoldish46 | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balabeep | +4.96 | 69 | 53 |
| #2 | NahSw1tch | +0.46 | 50 | 56 |
| #3 | YellowGoldish46 | -0.51 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | Medusa | -0.56 | 31 | 42 |
| #5 | taiskitty | -0.84 | 37 | 36 |





