








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 770 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1643 | 48% |
| Smokes | 695 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,442 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FirmMelons | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Angelsquad | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Thirsty | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Randy | 44% | 45 |
| #5 | tabseN | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | +2.69 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | tabseN | +1.67 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | FirmMelons | +1.46 | 48 | 65 |
| #4 | sTewiE | +1.27 | 82 | 44 |
| #5 | EshayLad | +0.71 | 83 | 47 |





