








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 181 | 12% |
| Smokes | 287 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 604 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 468 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,477 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Schmirka | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | 'bLUNGOO | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | Propagandhi | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | NickNizerHD® | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 'bLUNGOO | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | Propagandhi | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | NickNizerHD® | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 36% | 14 |
| #6 | I SWOLLED SHAMPOO ~Joshi | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I SWOLLED SHAMPOO ~Joshi | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | NickNizerHD® | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | BOT Schmirka | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | 'bLUNGOO | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Propagandhi | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 49 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | 'bLUNGOO | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | BOT Schmirka | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | NickNizerHD® | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | +4.02 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Propagandhi | +1.84 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | pablo | +0.38 | 66 | 24 |
| #4 | NickNizerHD® | -0.47 | 49 | 64 |
| #5 | I SWOLLED SHAMPOO ~Joshi | -0.48 | 63 | 39 |





