








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 802 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1008 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1119 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1294 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,084 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickNizerHD® | 54% | 183 |
| #2 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | 'bLUNGOO | 48% | 62 |
| #4 | BOT Schmirka | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | pablo | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickNizerHD® | 54% | 183 |
| #2 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | 'bLUNGOO | 48% | 62 |
| #4 | BOT Schmirka | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | pablo | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickNizerHD® | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | pablo | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | 'bLUNGOO | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | BOT Schmirka | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickNizerHD® | 257 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | 171 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | 'bLUNGOO | 157 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | BOT Schmirka | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | pablo | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠌᠌᠌ ᠌ ᠌El Knickus | +2.66 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | I SWOLLED SHAMPOO ~Joshi | +0.96 | 64 | 38 |
| #3 | pablo | -0.95 | 67 | 22 |
| #4 | NickNizerHD® | -1.12 | 51 | 63 |
| #5 | BOT Schmirka | -1.32 | 52 | 65 |





