








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7188 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7232 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2789 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4985 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,384 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1038 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luminous | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | buffdaddymatty | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | TacTiX7 | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | MobiuS | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | jerry | 47% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luminous | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | jerry | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | PotatoNapper | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Spanky™ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | MobiuS | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harp | +4.08 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | TacTiX7 | +2.96 | 87 | 73 |
| #3 | MobiuS | +2.12 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | Luminous | +1.71 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | buffdaddymatty | +0.13 | 59 | 70 |





