








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1043 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 596 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1051 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,861 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyron | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Kryytex | 68% | 59 |
| #3 | AlittyMONSTER | 66% | 29 |
| #4 | Hamstr with no e | 63% | 43 |
| #5 | Vy. | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryytex | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Hamstr with no e | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Vy. | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Tyron | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryytex | 366 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #2 | AlittyMONSTER | 122 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hamstr with no e | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vy. | 88 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ap | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryytex | +5.82 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | Ɇmpire♚ | +1.76 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Vy. | -0.67 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | Hamstr with no e | -0.78 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | AlittyMONSTER | -0.98 | 53 | 83 |





