








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 852 | 28% |
| Smokes | 538 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 987 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,941 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ Jester | 49% | 67 |
| #2 | Andreas | 49% | 86 |
| #3 | ♚T | 44% | 79 |
| #4 | Flint | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ Jester | 49% | 67 |
| #2 | Andreas | 49% | 86 |
| #3 | ♚T | 44% | 79 |
| #4 | Flint | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚T | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Andreas | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ✪︎ Jester | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Flint | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚T | 453 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | ✪︎ Jester | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Andreas | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Flint | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚T | +0.44 | 60 | 75 |
| #2 | ✪︎ Jester | +0.27 | 50 | 52 |
| #3 | sjerberbrerz? | +0.26 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Andreas | -0.55 | 58 | 58 |
| #5 | Flint | -5.86 | 18 | 40 |





