








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 216 | 25% |
| Smokes | 224 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 189 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 241 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,351 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚T | 44% | 41 |
| #2 | ✪︎ Jester | 41% | 41 |
| #3 | sjerberbrerz? | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | Andreas | 38% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚T | 44% | 41 |
| #2 | ✪︎ Jester | 41% | 41 |
| #3 | sjerberbrerz? | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | Andreas | 38% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ Jester | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Andreas | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | sjerberbrerz? | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ♚T | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚T | 242 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | Andreas | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪︎ Jester | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | sjerberbrerz? | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚T | +1.52 | 59 | 77 |
| #2 | ✪︎ Jester | +1.14 | 53 | 52 |
| #3 | sjerberbrerz? | +0.55 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | Andreas | -0.29 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | Flint | -5.39 | 17 | 42 |





