








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5145 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3611 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6888 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4945 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,491 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quandale Dingle | 60% | 156 |
| #2 | Henry V.🍁 | 51% | 446 |
| #3 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 51% | 139 |
| #4 | weiserhase | 43% | 191 |
| #5 | ✪ Xeros | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quandale Dingle | 60% | 156 |
| #2 | Henry V.🍁 | 51% | 446 |
| #3 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 51% | 139 |
| #4 | weiserhase | 43% | 191 |
| #5 | ✪ Xeros | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henry V.🍁 | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | weiserhase | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Quandale Dingle | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 9 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henry V.🍁 | 816 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #2 | weiserhase | 467 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Quandale Dingle | 147 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 144 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ Xeros | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | +1.69 | 63 | 76 |
| #2 | Quandale Dingle | +1.61 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | Henry V.🍁 | +0.76 | 66 | 72 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | +0.30 | 46 | 66 |
| #5 | ✪ Xeros | -0.79 | 63 | 51 |





