








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 138 | 16% |
| Smokes | 119 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 323 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 291 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $101,639 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henry V.🍁 | 39% | 23 |
| #2 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 36% | 28 |
| #3 | Quandale Dingle | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | weiserhase | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 36% | 28 |
| #3 | Quandale Dingle | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | weiserhase | 32% | 25 |
| #6 | كرسي عبده للاستمن | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 6 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Henry V.🍁 | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | weiserhase | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Quandale Dingle | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weiserhase | 72 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 60 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Henry V.🍁 | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 19 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Quandale Dingle | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henry V.🍁 | +1.46 | 64 | 75 |
| #2 | Quandale Dingle | +0.98 | 58 | 62 |
| #3 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | +0.52 | 63 | 75 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | +0.45 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | ✪ Xeros | -1.45 | 59 | 48 |





