








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4712 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6137 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4101 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4352 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,304,485 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quandale Dingle | 60% | 177 |
| #2 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 51% | 446 |
| #3 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 49% | 117 |
| #4 | weiserhase | 46% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quandale Dingle | 60% | 177 |
| #2 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 51% | 446 |
| #3 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 49% | 117 |
| #4 | weiserhase | 46% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 32 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Quandale Dingle | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | weiserhase | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | 797 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #2 | weiserhase | 483 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Quandale Dingle | 163 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | 133 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Uwe Burakk | +1.66 | 62 | 77 |
| #2 | Quandale Dingle | +1.45 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | Henry V.🍁 | +0.78 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | ✪ Claudius ClaudiANUS | +0.36 | 43 | 65 |
| #5 | weiserhase | -4.20 | 40 | 59 |





