








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 767 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2492 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3597 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5347 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3348 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,850,300 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2877 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1k5uu | 521 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Waldo Schamaldo | 317 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | 𝒔 𝒍 𝒐 𝒘 𝒆 𝒅 | 279 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Osku | 266 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | mummeli | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |





