








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 729 matches | ||
| Wingman | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




165 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4406 | 12% |
| Smokes | 7331 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9308 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 14501 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,559,044 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10041 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jabadabaduu | 67% | 93 |
| #2 | 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕖. | 58% | 166 |
| #3 | Kuriiri | 54% | 288 |
| #4 | Waldo Schamaldo | 52% | 378 |
| #5 | Doggo™ | 52% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jabadabaduu | 67% | 93 |
| #2 | 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕖. | 58% | 166 |
| #3 | Kuriiri | 54% | 288 |
| #4 | Waldo Schamaldo | 52% | 378 |
| #5 | Doggo™ | 52% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldo Schamaldo | 101 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | jabadabaduu | 45 | 0.0257 |
| #3 | Doggo™ | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕖. | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kuriiri | 7 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldo Schamaldo | 1063 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | Kuriiri | 346 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | jabadabaduu | 260 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Doggo™ | 157 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕖. | 131 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jabadabaduu | +5.70 | 93 | 50 |
| #2 | Waldo Schamaldo | +3.73 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕖. | +1.26 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | E.T | +1.00 | 87 | 42 |
| #5 | Doggo™ | -0.91 | 67 | 38 |





