








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1872 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1783 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,673 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DGC | 60% | 162 |
| #2 | Die echte Sabi♥ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | F4llen | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | MarcDerBoi | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | traderjoe | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DGC | 60% | 162 |
| #2 | Die echte Sabi♥ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | F4llen | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | MarcDerBoi | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | traderjoe | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DGC | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | F4llen | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Die echte Sabi♥ | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | traderjoe | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DGC | 232 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | F4llen | 99 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | traderjoe | 56 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | MarcDerBoi | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Die echte Sabi♥ | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sascha | +4.91 | 92 | 49 |
| #2 | traderjoe | +0.83 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | Die echte Sabi♥ | -0.74 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | DGC | -2.24 | 60 | 54 |
| #5 | MarcDerBoi | -3.84 | 50 | 67 |





