








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8175 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6022 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3690 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5736 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,840,275 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lachie | 50% | 387 |
| #2 | Dobbo | 49% | 285 |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 48% | 97 |
| #4 | pABLOeSCOBAR | 47% | 106 |
| #5 | Fatty ⭕⃤ | 47% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lachie | 1213 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Dobbo | 598 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 316 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fatty ⭕⃤ | 204 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | pABLOeSCOBAR | 71 | 0.03 | 2 min |





