








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4493 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4773 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3498 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3812 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,733,025 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose08 | 50% | 387 |
| #2 | Dobbo | 50% | 290 |
| #3 | pABLOeSCOBAR | 49% | 132 |
| #4 | Fatty ⭕⃤ | 49% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose08 | 50% | 387 |
| #2 | Dobbo | 50% | 290 |
| #3 | pABLOeSCOBAR | 49% | 132 |
| #4 | Fatty ⭕⃤ | 49% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose08 | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Dobbo | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Fatty ⭕⃤ | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | pABLOeSCOBAR | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose08 | 1424 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #2 | Dobbo | 611 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | Fatty ⭕⃤ | 143 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | pABLOeSCOBAR | 95 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lachie | +1.22 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | Dobbo | +0.73 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Goose08 | -0.32 | 57 | 70 |
| #4 | pABLOeSCOBAR | -0.40 | 22 | 67 |
| #5 | Fatty ⭕⃤ | -2.54 | 47 | 54 |





