








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1475 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1241 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 761 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,936 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Jennings | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | Nocturne | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | weakbox ★ | 59% | 88 |
| #4 | Thda | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Cofee Monkey | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | weakbox ★ | 59% | 88 |
| #4 | Thda | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Cofee Monkey | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | Palmer | 50% | 153 |
| #7 | ball | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weakbox ★ | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Palmer | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ball | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Ron Jennings | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Cofee Monkey | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weakbox ★ | 346 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Palmer | 325 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ron Jennings | 149 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | ball | 108 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nocturne | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Jennings | +5.89 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | Nocturne | +3.73 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | Cofee Monkey | +2.75 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | ball | +1.05 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | Palmer | +0.30 | 64 | 58 |





