








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 465 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6402 | 61% |
| Smokes | 654 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1046 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2445 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,318 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dub | 49% | 96 |
| #2 | LKL | xtra | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Groovy Guy | 45% | 356 |
| #4 | Woah!♥ | 44% | 475 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dub | 49% | 96 |
| #2 | LKL | xtra | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Groovy Guy | 45% | 356 |
| #4 | Woah!♥ | 44% | 475 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woah!♥ | 43 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Groovy Guy | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Dub | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woah!♥ | 963 | 0.10 | 30 min |
| #2 | Groovy Guy | 963 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #3 | LKL | xtra | 179 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dub | 155 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dub | +3.06 | 93 | 51 |
| #2 | Groovy Guy | +1.81 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | LKL | xtra | +1.42 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | Woah!♥ | -0.70 | 62 | 52 |
| #5 | Joe | -1.96 | 62 | 53 |





