








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 783 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 515 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8843 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7084 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5566 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5490 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,557,528 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LKL | xtra | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | Dub | 52% | 147 |
| #3 | Joe | 45% | 356 |
| #4 | Woah!♥ | 45% | 359 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LKL | xtra | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | Dub | 52% | 147 |
| #3 | Joe | 45% | 356 |
| #4 | Woah!♥ | 45% | 359 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woah!♥ | 35 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Joe | 31 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Dub | 8 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | 954 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Woah!♥ | 718 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #3 | Dub | 225 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | LKL | xtra | 195 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dub | +2.57 | 93 | 51 |
| #2 | LKL | xtra | +1.60 | 68 | 76 |
| #3 | Groovy Guy | +1.35 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | Woah!♥ | -0.86 | 62 | 52 |
| #5 | Joe | -2.09 | 63 | 54 |





