








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4459 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3909 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2017 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3347 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,306,312 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MavericK | 48% | 258 |
| #6 | Laden | AFK | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Blackfire | 46% | 137 |
| #8 | Rish | 44% | 32 |
| #9 | RuB!X^ | 40% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MavericK | 37 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Rexo | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | RuB!X^ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | op | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Blackfire | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MavericK | 1009 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | RuB!X^ | 484 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Rexo | 311 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | op | 277 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Doffy | 245 | 0.09 | 5 min |





