








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 320 | 18% |
| Smokes | 304 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 924 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,078 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Siinz | 44% | 107 |
| #2 | JarBox | 39% | 28 |
| #3 | ehm | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | stizza | 24% | 17 |
| #5 | Gundie | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ehm | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | stizza | 24% | 17 |
| #5 | Gundie | 22% | 9 |
| #6 | Aureo | 20% | 10 |
| #7 | Eggless Omelette//NuT | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stizza | 4 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Aureo | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Eggless Omelette//NuT | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Siinz | 359 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | ehm | 51 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Aureo | 45 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | stizza | 33 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | JarBox | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ehm | +3.64 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | Aureo | +2.30 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | JarBox | +1.55 | 59 | 46 |
| #4 | Siinz | +1.11 | 54 | 52 |
| #5 | Rowan | -0.67 | 65 | 41 |





