








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 809 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2238 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2225 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3081 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1361 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $787,583 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Rackshit | 51% | 136 |
| #2 | ᠌ SexBeaster | 49% | 90 |
| #3 | pippelsex | 49% | 134 |
| #4 | ✿yℝℝuF | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | peeveli | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✿yℝℝuF | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | peeveli | 43% | 92 |
| #6 | ТРИ ПОЛОСКИ EZ4ENCE | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | kolm triipu | 35% | 23 |
| #8 | avg_peugeot_enjoyer | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pippelsex | 25 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | ᠌ SexBeaster | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | peeveli | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Dr. Rackshit | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | avg_peugeot_enjoyer | 4 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pippelsex | 216 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Dr. Rackshit | 182 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | ᠌ SexBeaster | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | peeveli | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | avg_peugeot_enjoyer | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Rackshit | +1.71 | 73 | 41 |
| #2 | p1mple | +0.75 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | ✿yℝℝuF | -0.42 | 48 | 28 |
| #4 | pippelsex | -0.42 | 58 | 42 |
| #5 | peeveli | -1.67 | 49 | 30 |





