










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 68 | 10% |
| Smokes | 220 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 259 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 165 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,641 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shimano | 31% | 16 |
| #2 | 🔪KaZeN🔪 | 30% | 23 |
| #3 | -GayFurry Kalsu- | 23% | 13 |
| #4 | Anisha | 21% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shimano | 31% | 16 |
| #2 | 🔪KaZeN🔪 | 30% | 23 |
| #3 | -GayFurry Kalsu- | 23% | 13 |
| #4 | Anisha | 21% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shimano | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Anisha | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | -GayFurry Kalsu- | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔪KaZeN🔪 | 144 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | Anisha | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shimano | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | -GayFurry Kalsu- | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anisha | +1.28 | 41 | 34 |
| #2 | 🔪KaZeN🔪 | +0.94 | 36 | 60 |
| #3 | Shimano | -0.20 | 27 | 59 |
| #4 | -GayFurry Kalsu- | -2.87 | 13 | 26 |
| #5 | サーブ90 ♥ | -7.38 | 3 | 26 |





