








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1395 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1277 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1305 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 686 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,751 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Massive Mory | 49% | 167 |
| #2 | ANDALOPE | 46% | 52 |
| 46% | 112 | ||
| #4 | xWrnalp13_ | 43% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Massive Mory | 49% | 167 |
| #2 | ANDALOPE | 46% | 52 |
| 46% | 112 | ||
| #4 | xWrnalp13_ | 43% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 53 | 0.0221 | ||
| #2 | Massive Mory | 27 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | xWrnalp13_ | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 373 | 0.16 | 8 min | ||
| #2 | Massive Mory | 340 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | xWrnalp13_ | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ANDALOPE | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Massive Mory | +3.66 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | ANDALOPE | +2.16 | 79 | 42 |
| +0.48 | 75 | 47 | ||
| #4 | themansandwitch | -1.08 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | xWrnalp13_ | -1.49 | 49 | 36 |





