








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 442 | 25% |
| Smokes | 311 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 725 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 286 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,446 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 51% | 43 | ||
| #2 | themansandwitch | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Massive Mory | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Dripped out | 40% | 53 |
| #5 | xWrnalp13_ | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 16 | 0.0173 | ||
| #2 | themansandwitch | 10 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Massive Mory | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | xWrnalp13_ | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Dripped out | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 122 | 0.13 | 2 min | ||
| #2 | Dripped out | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Massive Mory | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | themansandwitch | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANDALOPE | +3.48 | 81 | 39 |
| #2 | Massive Mory | +3.41 | 64 | 56 |
| +1.09 | 83 | 45 | ||
| #4 | themansandwitch | -1.54 | 56 | 39 |
| #5 | Waymon | -2.61 | 39 | 34 |





