










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 225 | 37% |
| Smokes | 209 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 23 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 156 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,907 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dash | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | yoinky sploinker | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | MrQ | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | AlphaDeltaCS | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | JAZZ_HANDZ | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Big Guy | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | Fig Farmer | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | Echo | 0% | 2 |
| #10 | Hamdo | 0% | 3 |
| #11 | I am Cheating | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fig Farmer | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | AlphaDeltaCS | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Dash | 12 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| #4 | Big Guy | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | MrQ | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dash | +5.40 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | JAZZ_HANDZ | +3.92 | 54 | 27 |
| #3 | yoinky sploinker | +2.87 | 70 | 46 |
| #4 | AlphaDeltaCS | +2.35 | 83 | 63 |
| #5 | π¬π»πΈπ²πΌπΌπͺπ·π½ | +1.31 | 67 | 60 |





