










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 718 | 36% |
| Smokes | 744 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 479 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,724 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Guy | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | MrQ | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Fig Farmer | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | AlphaDeltaCS | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | π¬π»πΈπ²πΌπΌπͺπ·π½ | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Guy | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | MrQ | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Fig Farmer | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | AlphaDeltaCS | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | π¬π»πΈπ²πΌπΌπͺπ·π½ | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrQ | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Fig Farmer | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fig Farmer | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Big Guy | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | MrQ | 17 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | π¬π»πΈπ²πΌπΌπͺπ·π½ | 6 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | AlphaDeltaCS | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrQ | +1.60 | 48 | 45 |
| #2 | I am Cheating | +1.00 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | Fig Farmer | -1.48 | 32 | 54 |
| #4 | AlphaDeltaCS | -1.85 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | Big Guy | -3.17 | 53 | 26 |





