








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 30 | 9% |
| Smokes | 85 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 92 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 140 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,318 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hubert | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | poggers bro 2 | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | snog airsoft | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 11% | 9 |
| #8 | s1erra^: | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 9 | 0.0577 |
| #2 | Hubert | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | poggers bro 2 | 1 | 0.0244 |
| #4 | The Milk Man (Bad Rats Fan) | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hubert | 25 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | snog airsoft | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | do u eat pears | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | poggers bro 2 | 4 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poggers bro 2 | +1.76 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | snog airsoft | +0.32 | 57 | 66 |
| #3 | Escape Convict | +0.14 | 39 | 42 |
| #4 | do u eat pears | -1.02 | 63 | 52 |
| #5 | Hubert | -1.04 | 26 | 58 |





