








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 300 | 21% |
| Smokes | 393 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 403 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 365 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,807 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novers | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | dirkhant | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | 🅶 I|I itzvalle | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | TER4IN | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | Jabba the nibbsi | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novers | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | dirkhant | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | 🅶 I|I itzvalle | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | TER4IN | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | Jabba the nibbsi | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🅶 I|I itzvalle | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Jabba the nibbsi | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Novers | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TER4IN | 133 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jabba the nibbsi | 121 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | 🅶 I|I itzvalle | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Novers | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | dirkhant | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dirkhant | +1.76 | 87 | 53 |
| #2 | TER4IN | +0.75 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Mimo | +0.64 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | Novers | +0.47 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Jabba the nibbsi | -0.13 | 59 | 67 |





