








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 499 | 22% |
| Smokes | 704 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 592 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 503 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,048 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Machey | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Korus | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | FerrAhri | 49% | 55 |
| #7 | Joshua Sandman | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | Suchy | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qb3K | 318 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | UwUsan | 221 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | Machey | 97 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Suchy | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | FerrAhri | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwUsan | +4.39 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | qb3K | +3.43 | 79 | 77 |
| #3 | buzzard | +1.78 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | Korus | +0.42 | 53 | 62 |
| #5 | Joshua Sandman | -1.15 | 37 | 72 |





