








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 23% |
| Smokes | 565 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 983 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 910 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,568 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Machey | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | FerrAhri | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | UwUsan | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | qb3K | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | buzzard | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FerrAhri | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | UwUsan | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | qb3K | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | buzzard | 47% | 68 |
| #6 | Joshua Sandman | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qb3K | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | UwUsan | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Machey | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Joshua Sandman | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | buzzard | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qb3K | 294 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | UwUsan | 214 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Machey | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | FerrAhri | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | buzzard | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qb3K | +4.55 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | UwUsan | +3.97 | 83 | 77 |
| #3 | buzzard | +1.80 | 73 | 43 |
| #4 | Machey | -0.28 | 50 | 58 |
| #5 | Joshua Sandman | -1.97 | 37 | 71 |





