








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2783 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2322 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1963 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2145 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,595 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshua Sandman | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Korus | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Machey | 60% | 60 |
| #4 | FerrAhri | 57% | 75 |
| #5 | buzzard | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Machey | 60% | 60 |
| #4 | FerrAhri | 57% | 75 |
| #5 | buzzard | 52% | 77 |
| #6 | デーモン zyxh | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Suchy | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suchy | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Machey | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Korus | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | buzzard | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | FerrAhri | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Machey | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | FerrAhri | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | buzzard | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Korus | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Suchy | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | デーモン zyxh | +4.53 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | qb3K | +3.37 | 81 | 77 |
| #3 | buzzard | +1.28 | 68 | 46 |
| #4 | Joshua Sandman | -0.46 | 41 | 77 |
| #5 | Machey | -0.50 | 46 | 66 |





