








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 27 | 2% |
| Smokes | 523 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 409 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 685 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,430 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExisteNce010 | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | bertvc_ | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | LoadingStar | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | ALOppAA | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Aparino | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | zwizu. | 42% | 24 |
| #12 | Woutahh | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | JSSB | 38% | 8 |
| #14 | DiSeReCt | 33% | 6 |
| #15 | NykxS | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlofTank | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | NykxS | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ExisteNce010 | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Woutahh | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woutahh | 59 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #2 | ALOppAA | 53 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Joonthom | 50 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | peekske | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | PlofTank | 25 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALOppAA | +4.19 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | ExisteNce010 | +3.28 | 92 | 57 |
| #3 | Joonthom | +2.75 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | DiSeReCt | +2.62 | 96 | 11 |
| #5 | zwizu. | +1.81 | 79 | 24 |





