








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1969 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2432 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1697 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,479 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lalli | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | JSLatvala | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Laventelinorsu | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Yiijy | 48% | 124 |
| #5 | S4mple | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | S4mple | 47% | 88 |
| #6 | IAmQuicker | 46% | 61 |
| #7 | Potamochoerus porcus | 44% | 116 |
| #8 | Zenih | 43% | 89 |
| #9 | Lil Päärynä | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yiijy | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Zenih | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Potamochoerus porcus | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | S4mple | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | IAmQuicker | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potamochoerus porcus | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Yiijy | 251 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | S4mple | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | IAmQuicker | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lalli | 72 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSLatvala | +2.44 | 46 | 57 |
| #2 | S4mple | +2.15 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | IAmQuicker | +2.02 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | Lil Päärynä | +1.77 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | Yiijy | +1.03 | 58 | 56 |





